Kidnapped
by MannAinsley
Summary: Her husband has gone missing so what will a heavily pregnant Kate do? Will Agent Shaw solve the case or will she need Kate to help her? Please review:)
1. Where is he?

Hey guys! This small fan fic is just going to be a section of another fan fic I post else where. Pretty self explanatory what happens but you will need some background info.

Kate and Rick are recently married and Kate is very pregnant. Kate has taken the year off because of the baby and because of other personal reasons. They are having a baby girl and her name is Ophelia Johanna Alexis Beckett Castle. She's due in about 3 weeks. I hope that's enough so you don't get too confused. This is an ongoing story and I haven't finished this this part of my fan fic so I will post chapters as I write them. This story will finish after this 'part' of my story comes to an end. Thank you and I hope you enjoy.

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"Where is he? Where is my husband?" she screamed.

"Kate we don't know" Agent Shaw assured, "But we will find him, I promise you that."

"Don't make promises you may not be able to keep" she snarled.

"We are looking into every possibility Kate. You can't stress about this, you have more than just you to worry about."

Kate knew she was right. She was only three weeks away from her due date and she couldn't get stressed out. It was more than possible for her to go into labour at any second.

They stood in the break room of the precinct; Kate called in Shaw straight away when she got wind of Rick being kidnapped. They actually had no idea who had done it, but Kate had a feeling that it had something to do with the CIA. Kate suddenly remembered the joke she had pulled on the phone two nights before. Kate suddenly felt like she was going to vomit.

"Oh Kate" Lanie let out while barging in through the break room door. "How are you sweetie? Are the babies alright?"

"Yeah we are doing fine. Well as fine as you can get when you just found out that your husband has been kidnapped."

"Oh sweetie" she said and hugged her best friend.

"You must be the medical examiner" Shaw stated, interrupting the moment. "Can you keep a watchful eye on her while we undergo the investigation?"

"Yeah of course I can! I can't see anything happen to my little God daughter and her mumma."

"Thankyou Dr Parish and Kate please try and keep the stress low at least for the baby's sake."

"I will try. Now go and find my Husband!"

Shaw walked off into the room full of uniforms.

They just sat there for a while watching all of the FBI and Detectives work together to try and find Rick.

"They're going to find him, right Lanie?" she asked.

"Yeah honey. They are going to bring him home to you."


	2. Progress

"Where are we?" Agent Shaw hissed to the other men and women around her.

"His phone is either turned off or has been destroyed. Not being able to trace him that way, we have been searching through video footage near the places where his phone last pinged off. It's a big area in Brooklyn, but we are slowly narrowing it down" the agent assured.

"Okay, good." She paused for a moment, "So where was he last seen?"

"Richard's last known whereabouts was captured on ATM video footage getting out of a taxi on Bay 47th street."

"Okay call up on that taxi driver. Find out where he picked Rick up from and what his was mood like. Was he paranoid, worried, overly happy? I want every detail."

Agent Shaw then went to walk away but was stopped by the young agent again. All she wanted was to get a cup of coffee and sit down, but that obviously wasn't happening any time soon.

"Agent Shaw there's something else you should see" the young man said and gestured her to look at the screen that was laid out in front of him. "Rick wasn't the only one in that car; another man was with him but didn't get out at the same stop as Mr Castle."

"Okay so he may be involved or he could've just shared the taxi with the guy." She paused for a moment to think through her options. "Okay send this video down to tech to see if they can enhance the footage to at least try to identify the other man. Get your men to rake through footage to try and find where the taxi went after Mr Castle's departure and put a few extra men on trying to find that taxi and its driver. If it has video surveillance it could be the big break we need to identify the other man. Call me when you get something, I'm now officially on break."

"Will do Ma`am." He said then walked over to the other agents and detectives and briefed them on the situation and what to do.

Ryan and Espo were stuck on raking through the video footage from around the city trying to find where the taxi went.

"How the hell did we get stuck with this job?" Esposito complained.

"At least they didn't send us home like last time. Let's just help find the son of a b*tch who kidnapped our friend" Ryan exclaimed.

They were still two hours in and it was pretty much hopeless. They had screened hours and hours of footage and neither Rick nor the taxi had popped.

"Dude we've gotten literally nowhere except that we now know that there is a sale on at the bridal shop and tonnes of crazy brides trampled each other to get the 'perfect dress'" Esposito said sarcastically.

"Hey that will be Lanie soon" Ryan smirked.

"Shut up dude" he snarled back.

Agent Shaw returned from her break three hours later.

"Anything?" she called out into the room not caring who answered her. Of course it was the leading agent who answered. Shaw thought his name was Read but she was too tired to care.

"We have found the taxi driver and are bringing him in now. The taxi has no cameras so it's a no go on that lead but CSU and sweeping it now."

"Yep, ok good. What's the guy's name?" Shaw murmured back. He hadn't slept since Kate had called her which was over forty-eight hours ago. She made a mental note to call her daughter after the interrogation.

"His name is Mike Terrance. Born and bred in New York lost his job as a manager at an electronic store a few months back and had to take up this job to pay rent." The agent lifted up a folder and pulled out a photo that Shaw presumed was Terrance. He looked clean and was well groomed, certainly didn't look like a guy who would be caught up in a kidnapping.

"Okay when he gets here prep him for me. Put him in interrogation room one."

"Will do ma`am." The agent then sat back down and turned to his computer and continued to scroll through surveillance footage.

Shaw sat in the break room with her phone in her hands contemplating to ring her daughter. She hadn't spoken to Sarah in two days and she knew the ten year old would be restless. She dug deep and found the courage and dialled home.

"Hello" a man answered her husband Peter.

"Hey honey is Sarah still up?" she was putting on a sweet voice because she knew he would be pissed at her for not calling.

"Yeah I will get her for you." He didn't sound as angry as she thought.

She then heard some fumbling from the other end of the line as he handed the phone over to his daughter.

"Hello Mummy" the little girl said excitedly.

"Hey sweetie. How are you?"

"I'm good, Riley is over tonight remember?"

Was it really Friday?

"Yeah I remember sweetie. How was school?"

The little girl chuckled; obviously something funny happened on the movie they were watching. By what Jordan could hear it was the Little Mermaid.

"Yeah it was fun. We got to play with the computers today. Have you saved your friend yet mummy?"

She didn't know how to answer. "Not quite yet sweetie. He will be fine though." Shaw could see someone waving her down from the outside of the break room. Terrance must have arrived. "Sweetie I'm sorry but I have to go. Sweet dreams Sarah."

"Night Mummy. Go slay those dragons."

"Will do" she replied before hanging up the phone. It didn't matter how many times she had to hang up on that little girl it never got easier.

She exited the break room and walked over to the interrogation room.

"He's here I'm guessing?" Shaw hissed at the officer on the door. All he could do was give a nod in return. It's not her fault that people got scared of her when she snapped. She was deep into a sleep deprivation state and would stop functioning soon without it. She made another note to take a nap after she was done here.

She walked through the door into the interrogation room and saw the man sitting at the table in the middle of the room.

"Hello Mr Terrance, Welcome."

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Hope you guys enjoy:) leave a review with what you think.


	3. Finding a lead

"Hello who are you? What am I doing here? The cops that picked me up didn't tell me squat!" Mr Terrance exclaimed.

"Sorry Mr Terrance where are my manners? My name is Agent Shaw and I'm with the FBI. I just have a couple of questions about a few men that you picked up in your taxi a few days ago."

"Hey I have no control of who gets in my car! I can't run a background check on everyone I pick up!" he yelled. "And please call me Mike."

"Okay Mike, no need to panic. We just need to find out about a couple of guys that you dropped off in Brooklyn" Shaw muttered back. "Would you be able to check your records for me? You had two men in your taxi at about 2pm Tuesday in Brooklyn. One man got out at 47th Bay Street and the other stayed in the car and his drop off location is unknown. The first man to exit the car is now missing and the other man is needed for questioning." She walked over to the seat across from Mike and sat down. "Now Mike, I am just wondering if you could tell me a bit more information both of the men."

Mike reached into his bag and pulled out a document book that Jordan assumed was filled with all of his fares that he has collected. He sat there and started to flip through his book until he hit the page labelled 'Tuesday'. "Yeah I remember those guys!" he exclaimed. "Yeah nice guys. That guy that got out early wasn't meant to but he saw something out the window and asked me to pull over. His friend got out at…." He thought for a second and looked down at his book. "The other guy made me drive him back to Manhattan and I dropped him off in Canal Street. Nice guy gave me a pretty generous tip."

Shaw smiled, she was almost there. "Mike did that guy have a name?"

He thought for a second. "Yeah um… his name was Gavin. Gavin Jesson."

"Thank you so much Mike. Another officer will be in here soon to ask you a few more questions. Thank you again for your time" she said already half way up the door.

"Yeah no problem" he mumbled to himself, Shaw was already gone.

"Guys gather round!" Jordan yelled to the room full of people.

It was only a matter of seconds before the men and woman that filled the room and surrounded Shaw.

"Okay guys listen up!" she yelled. "Espo, Ryan please go finish the interrogation on Mr Terrace. Find out as much as you can about Rick and the other guy in the taxi and also find out as much information as you can about where he picked the two guys up."

"Yes boss" they called and ran off towards the interrogation room.

"We have a name for the second guy in the car. His name is Gavin Jesson. Search him and find him" she yelled. "Also guys scanning through video feeds change your lines from Brooklyn to Manhattan. Base your search to areas near Canal Street for him. Call me when you get something." She rubbed her hands through her hair. She was so tired but she had stuff to do. "I'm going to see Kate."

She walked out of the precinct and jumped in a taxi, gave them the address to the loft and rested her head into the back of the seat. She needed to sleep so badly but she had to tell Kate the progress that had made and it's just one of those things that can't be said over the phone. Hopefully she didn't need to stay for long and could make her way back to the precinct and go to sleep on the couch in the break room; it had been calling her for a long time now.

She arrived at the building that contained Kate and Ricks loft, paid the driver and started the short trek towards the elevator. She got strange looks from the doorman as she flashed her badge and walked through, she must have looked like a walking zombie.

She knocked and waited at the door until it was opened by Lanie.

"Hey Jordan" she said sleepily. Jordan forgot that it was early, really early.

"I hope I didn't wake you up" she replied.

Lanie gestured for her to come in. "No Kate's been awake for hours tracking down leads and connections to the CIA."

"Of course she had" Jordan laughed and made her way towards the office where she found Kate shuffling through papers.

"Hey Jordan!" Kate exclaimed. She got up and waddled over to Jordan and gave her a big hug. She was overly happy, like too happy.

"Hey Kate are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah I'm fine, found anything new?" Kate asked wandering back to her desk.

"Yeah actually" she yawned, "We are searching through surveillance and have found out that another man was with Rick in the taxi. We have named that man and we are tracking him down now. We have found Rick's last known whereabouts and are trying to narrow it down to a smaller area." She was trying to stay official but sleep was coming over her and her voice sounded drowsy.

"Sounds good thank you. I'll get Ryan to drop the info over to me." She smiled at Jordan and Lanie as she entered the room with three cups of tea. "How long as it been since you've slept?"

"Mhmmm… a couple of days maybe" she whispered.

"Come on you're going to sleep in Alexis's old bedroom. Give me your phone and I will sort out anything if the precinct calls."

Shaw didn't argue. She handed over her phone to Kate and was happily ushered off to her temporary room by Lanie.

She sunk into the sheets and straight away fell into a deep, deep slumber.


	4. Priors

Shaw's phone buzzed as Kate was looking through the files that Espo had emailed her. She recognised the number as the precincts so she answered.

"Hello Detective Beckett speaking"

The person on the other end was quiet for a moment.

"Oh hi Detective is Agent Shaw around?" The young man sounded scared and Kate wondered if she scared all of the younger agents.

"No sorry she's sleeping but what have you got?" she replied.

"Okay, sorry detective we were told to only report to Agent Shaw" he mumbled nervously.

"Well now you're reporting to me" she snapped, "So what have you got for me?"

"Well ma`am," he paused, "We have found the location of Gavin Jesson and as you probably know from the files that Detective Esposito and Detective Ryan sent to you that we have located where your husband and Gavin were picked up and dropped off."

"Yes thank you. So I'm guessing you're wondering what to do know?" she answered.

"Uh… Yes ma`am."

She silently laughed at how nervous he was. "Okay get a team to collect Gavin. Bring him into an interrogation room and leave him there with no one, we want to make him sweat. Get some of your guys to canvas the area where both of the men were picked up and dropped off. Find out if anyone saw them there and if they saw anything suspicious." She paused to gather her thoughts. "Let the taxi driver go and call me when you bring Gavin in."

He answered almost instantly; she hoped that he had just written that down.

"Yes detective will do. Thank you" he muttered. She could tell that he was trying to be nice because of the whole 'we are currently looking for your husband' ordeal, but she didn't need nice, she needed her husband.

She stared back at her screen for a long time until the words started to blur. She had gotten nothing. For all they knew Gavin was just a friend of Rick's and they met up and decided to share a taxi. But why would Rick then ask the taxi to stop in Brooklyn? What was there in Brooklyn? Bay 47th street was full of houses, nothing more. There had to be something up with that street, they would find it even if they had to climb in too far deep to reach it. She quickly picked up her phone and dialled the precinct.

"Hello?" a voice on the other end called.

"Hello my name is Detective Kate Beckett I work homicide at the 12th."

"Oh yes Beckett we worked a case a while back, I'm agent Hemming."

She had no idea who this woman was but she decided to play along, you never knew how far knowing someone would get you. "Oh yes hi, nice to speak to you again. Well I was just wondering if the head man was there?" she was putting on her most polite voice even though she just wanted her to hurry up and give the phone over to the agent she had talked to before.

"Sorry Beckett he's not in, he's out chasing Gavin Jesson" she answered.

"Okay is Ryan or Espo there?"

The woman hesitated for a moment. Kate guessed that she was looking around the room for them. "Yeah they're here. I'll send you across."

"Thank you" she said with genuine thanks.

A few seconds later Espo picks up.

"Yo Beckett what's up?" he stated quickly.

"I need you to run a background check on everyone who lives on Bay 47thstreet." She wasn't wasting time and she could straight away hear Javier typing on his keyboard.

"Okay Beckett a few names popped, but other than a few traffic violations and shoplifting we are left with two guys."

"Shoot 'em at me Javi."

"Okay one Nicolas Smith. He was busted for possession of illegal drugs and a deadly weapon."

"And?..." she snapped. She didn't mean to but she was becoming very impatient.

"And a Geoffrey Whiter. Did a stint in prison for an attempted kidnapping and manslaughter."

"And he's out already?" she asked.

"Yeah he was meant to be in there for 25 years but he got let out in 5 because of an appeal."

"What did he appeal?" she asked, her patience growing even thinner.

"Apparently some dirty cops got on the case and corrupted the evidence. The charges were dropped last year and it says here that the Feds have been after him ever since but haven't been able to get him on anything."

"What about the CIA?" she asked again.

"Sorry Beckett it doesn't say" he replied apologetically.

"Okay can you and Ryan go pick him up? Bring him in for questioning and see if he knows anything. Offer him anything he wants even if he doesn't know much."

"Okay boss but we gotta run this by the chief first" he said hesitantly.

"Do what you gotta do detective" she answered and hung up the phone.

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**Hey guys! Sorry that it took me forever to upload this! I've had no time at all to write! Please review:)**


	5. Family man

"So Mr Whiter, you've got quite a rap sheet going here. I'm sure you wouldn't want to see another major offence added to that list, it wouldn't go down very well for you" she said calmly.

"Lady I have no idea what you're talking about" he looked around the room nervously. She thought that he shouldn't be nervous; surely he had been in interrogation rooms before. "And lady you look like you're about to pop! Are the NYPD that understaffed that they are forcing pregnant woman to do the job?"

"No Mr Whiter I'm here by choice." She sat down in the seat that was meant for her opposite to him. "See, you know that man you said came and visited you on Tuesday?"

"Yeah" he answered, "I told everything I know to the other detectives."

She laughed and gave a slight smile. "You see I just don't think that you're telling the whole truth. I think you know more than you're claiming you know" she pointed at him.

"I told you lady, everything I know I told those detectives." He hissed and she could see that he was getting pissed.

She sat there for a second wanting suspense to build between them.

"You see Mr Whiter that man that came to talk to you.."

"Yeah that Rick guy" he interrupted.

"Yeah that Rick guy" she hissed. "He's my husband and the father of this baby." She stared at him for while why that fully sunk in. "I know guys like you Mr Whiter. You have messed up lives and aren't the best people but you're big on family. My guess is that you have a few children to a woman that you don't really love, but you married her anyway" she said with her usual interrogation voice. "Am I right?"

"Yeah" he mumbled back.

"So tell me everything that you know and I can put a good word in for you at the DA for the next time you get busted for something."

He looked hesitant. Something was bubbling to the surface but he wasn't quite ready to spill his guts yet, he needed more convincing. Kate needed to pull a card that she had never used before.

"My name is Katherine Houghton Castle. Richard and I got married in Verona 6 months ago. It was a beautiful ceremony and completely and utterly romantic. I married the man of my dreams that day Mr Whiter." She paused again for effect and she could see that he was almost ready. Now was the time for the icing on the cake. She put a hand down to her stomach and rubbed it gently. "This is Ophelia Johanna Alexis Beckett Castle."

"A real tongue twister" he laughed softly.

"Yeah it is" she laughed back. "She's due in a few weeks. Her bedroom is yellow and her crib is blue, her father painted it all."

She could tell something clicked over in his eyes. He was ready.

"He came to my door and he knew that the FBI was after me and somehow he knew about me helping the CIA."

"Wait what?" she exclaimed. "What have you been doing for the CIA?!"

"I'm known to hang out at this club that is notorious to housing some" he paused so he could choose the right word, "Bad people."

"And?" she asked.

"The CIA made me a deal" he said and stood up and started to pace the room. Obviously he wasn't meant to tell anybody. "They would protect me and my family if I got them the information they needed to bring down some 'big' guys. That's why the Fed's couldn't get anything on me, the CIA just kept pushing them back every time they got too close." He stopped pacing and took his seat again. "Somehow your husband got wind of our deal and came to ask me about it."

"What kind of men were the CIA after?" she asked.

"Major drug dealers and a couple of guys who were smuggling people into the country and if you were wondering yes they would be guys that could kidnap your man if he got too close to them."

"Did you tell him any information about these men?" she asked. She was almost there; she could smell a lead coming.

"No that would break the contract I had with the CIA and see that would hurt my family Detective. I'm a family man remember?" he smiled. "But I did tell him the bar. I thought that if he wanted to get in own ass in trouble he could do whatever the hell he wanted as long as he didn't mention my name. I wouldn't have told him if I knew his situation." His regret was genuine.

"What was the name of that bar Mr Whiter?" she asked seriously.

"It called Diggers" he mumbled.

"Thank you" she said while getting up off her seat. It was a struggle but she finally got there and walked towards the door.

"Kate" he said right before she closed the door. She turned around and walked back inside the interrogation room.

"Yes Mr Whiter?"

"Look after Ophelia, no matter what happens with your man make sure she is safe. But I hope everything works out" he replied.

"Will do Mr Whiter, Thank you." She closed the door for the final time and walked into the bullpen.

"Hey Ryan, Espo can you go check out a bar called Diggers? Check the Interrogation recordings if you need any other info" she called out.

"Yo where you going Beckett?" Esposito called out.

"Um… I'm off to the hospital, I'm in labour" she said right before the elevator doors closed in front of her.

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	6. Giving birth

"Breathe Kate breathe!" Lanie yelled at her friend who was lying in a hospital bed screaming in pain.

"I can't do it without him Lanie! I need him now!" She screamed again. She was in severe pain and she'd refused drugs. They always tell you that giving birth hurts but she never imagined it to be like this.

"Well you're going to have to sweetie! This baby needs to be born soon and there's nothing you can do about it" she explained.

As the contraction stopped Kate took in her surroundings. The room she had been situated in was plain and dull but it was private and that was all that mattered. The walls were a plain white with blue skirting and the curtains were a mustard yellow. There were framed pictures of flowers on the wall. It looked like they were placed there to help the ladies giving birth feel better. Kate wondered how a picture of daisies was meant to make her feel better right now.

The doctor walked through the door and checked on Kate.

"Okay Kate you're almost fully dilated, you will have to start pushing in a few minutes" he smiled at her. She wondered if he knew how much pain she was going through. Right now as another contraction swept through it felt like barbed wire was being pulled through her vagina.

"Stay strong Kate, I'm here" Lanie said as Kate let out another piercing scream.

"I know honey, I know" she said as the pain subsided.

They sat there for another ten minutes working through her contractions that came every two.

A new doctor walked through the door and sat down in front of Kate.

"Hello Katherine I'm doctor Yesha and I will be delivering your baby today" she simply said. "Now you're going to have to start pushing for me."

Kate grabbed onto Lanie's hand and squeezed tightly and pushed will all of the strength had she had left.

"Come on Kate" the doctor said. "I hear that you're a pretty tough cookie! I need you to push harder."

She was going to be a cookie that liked to squash other littler cookies soon if she didn't shut up. She so wasn't in the mood to give birth at the moment, especially when they finally had a good lead on finding Rick.

She pushed harder and harder and cried out in pain even louder every time. Each time a piercing pain stretched throughout her body she regretted the decision not to take the pain killers.

"I can see a head!" Lanie exclaimed.

"I don't find it normal that you are looking at my private parts Lanie" Kate huffed.

"Sorry" she quickly said and rushed back to her side.

A few 'Come on cookie's!' later it was time for her final push. Kate was seriously about to rage at this woman if she kept calling her cookie though. She just had to breathe and remember that it was almost over, but unfortunately it was almost over without Rick being there.

"Okay last push girl!" Lanie screamed.

Suddenly the door burst open and a man came flying through. He was tall, had dark brown hair and was ruggedly handsome.

"Nurse what are you doing here?" the doctor ordered.

"Just in case you need help" he replied.

Kate sighed heavily and gave one last big push. Crying suddenly filled the room and Kate let her head fall back into the pillows.

"She's beautiful Kate" Lanie whispered.

"Yeah?" Kate whispered back. She was exhausted and just wanted to hold her baby.

They had taken her away for some testing since she was premature and also to clean her up a bit. A few minutes later the doctor walked in with a tiny human wrapped in a flurry of pink blankets. She reached down and placed the baby into Kate's arms.

"Welcome to the world baby Ophelia" she whispered into her baby's ear. "She's beautiful" she said and looked up at Lanie who was crying.

"I know" she answered. "Just like her god mother."

Kate could only release a small smile before reaching down and giving Ophelia a kiss on her tiny forehead.

Ophelia wouldn't stop crying and nothing Kate was doing soothed her.

"They are usually like this Kate, no need to worry" the doctor said. She was still here? Kate remembered that she needed to leave a comment on the complaints card later.

She hushed her baby. "It's okay Ophelia daddy will be here soon. He will hold you and he will love you. He will be okay." She needed more reassuring then the baby. Would Rick come back? Would she be a single mother?

"Baby Ophelia Johanna Alexis Beckett Castle" she whispered into her baby's ear. "You are precious and you are sweet and you are kind. You will grow into a beautiful woman Ophelia and you will be great."

At that moment Lanie reached down to Kate's shoulder and rubbed it slightly.

"You and Rick are going to be amazing parents Kate. Ophelia Castle is going to be great woman one day." She reached down and gave Kate a kiss on the cheek and did the same to baby Ophelia. "You need your sleep Kate" she said while taking the baby out of Kate's arms. She placed Ophelia in a plastic crib that was on wheels next to Kate's bed.

Kate stared at her baby for a few minutes before drifting off to sleep. The last thing she thought about was Rick and how she was going to get him home.

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**Hey guys I hope you enjoy:) please review!**


	7. At the precinct

"Shhhhh, Ophie Shhhhh…" she whispered to her baby. It wasn't working very well because the bullpen was full of noisy detectives who just wanted to hold the baby.

She gave them all a death stare. "Come on guys! I swear you can all hold the baby once you find Rick" she said.

"Come on Kate!" they all whined.

She simply shook her head. "Get back to work." They all turned around and slowly walked back to their desks.

Ophelia was only three days old and she had literally just been realised from hospital. Kate didn't even bother to go home; she just drove straight to the precinct.

"Mrs Castle" Victoria yelled. "Please come see me in my office."

'Crap' Kate thought to herself before walking off to visit Gate's.

"Yes sir?" she asked.

"Kate I told you that you can't bring Ophelia in here, not while she's this young. In a few months yes but right now it's unacceptable."

Kate frowned and sat down in front of Victoria's desk. "Sorry sir, I haven't been home yet I was just wondering if any new leads had come up?"

"I know detective and I'm not going to tell you because you need to go home and get some rest. If we find Rick I will call you, or let him call you himself, okay?" Victoria had a sincere look in her eyes. She couldn't imagine what it would be like for a mother who has just given birth without her husband and not knowing if she would ever get to see him again, or if her child was going to have a father. "I called Lanie to come pick you up. She is going to keep you company for the next couple of days. First though I think you should let me hold baby Ophelia" she smiled.

"Yeah sure" Kate answered and both ladies got up and walked to each other before Kate handed over her baby to her Captain.

Javier and Kevin Burst through the doors.

"OPHELIA!" they both exclaimed and ran to the baby's side. They fought with each other for who got to hold her next.

"I think Uncle Javier and Uncle Kevin are a bit excited" she chuckled.

"That's an understatement" Javier smiled.

Espo got to hold Ophelia first. His argument was that Ryan had his own baby that he could hold whenever he wanted so it was only fair that the man without a child got to go first. He only got to hold her for two minutes before she was torn out of his arms by Ryan.

"Guys I've got to go" she said and took Ophelia away from Ryan which left a sad look on his face. She then looked over to Espo and said, "Your fiancé is here."

Kate walked off through the precinct and met Lanie at the elevators. She removed Ophelia out of Kate's arms and cradled her in her own. The way that Lanie looked at Ophelia almost brought tears to Kate's eyes. Lanie was in love. She was in love with her daughter and she couldn't be happier about it. The only thing that could make her happier if that was Rick's face looking down on their newborn but that didn't look like it was happening anytime soon.


	8. Locked in luxury

"When are you going to let me go!" he exclaimed. "I have a pregnant wife! She needs me."

The man paced the room with a wicked smile on his face. He had one hand reaching up to his chin and the other placed on his hip. His shirtless body was covered in old scars. Rick thought that he might have been ex-military, or maybe he was still enrolled.

"I'm sorry Mr Castle" he spoke calmly, "You got too close. I can't let you go, not until you forget."

Rick sighed. This was getting more than frustrating. Firstly, they had taken him to a 4 star hotel. Secondly, they hadn't even tied him to a chair. Like what kind of kidnappers were they? He is free to roam around his room as he pleases. And thirdly, he was feed three course meals. It's not like he was complaining about the level of service these guys were giving him, he just didn't understand why he was there and why he couldn't leave. It's like the CIA have a secret fund for this kinda thing. Kidnapping someone and treating them like this wouldn't be cheap.

"What did I get too close too!" he yelled. "I simply can't forget something if I have no idea about what I'm meant to be forgetting!"

The man stopped pacing and turned to Rick.

"The only way you can leave is if they find you, because if they can't find you then I know we are safe."

Rick gave a sarcastic smile. "So what you're telling me is. unless my friends find me you will keep me here forever?"

"Yes sir that is what I am implying."

"Well I've got to say, you take care with your hostages. A lot more then the movies portray" Rick said.

"Only for our world famous guests do we put our most care into" he gave a polite smile.

"Can you at least tell me how Kate is doing? You have to know? Please, if you going to keep me here I need to know that she is okay" he pleaded. Desperation ripped through his voice.

"Baby Ophelia Johanna Alexis Beckett Castle was born five days ago. She is very healthy and very beautiful" he said.

"You saw her!" he yelled. "Poor Kate, she must be feeling like crap" he whispered so only he could hear.

"Yes Mr Castle. Unfortunately I missed most of the labour but I just made it in time to see her final push, and trust me Kate is dealing well. Her friend was there the whole time helping her, telling her that you were going to come home" he smirked. "It actually took a lot out of me not to laugh and tell her that unless she solves the puzzle, she will never see you again."


	9. Finding Rick

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't posted in ages! I actually finished this whole fan fiction ages ago but I just haven't been posting it! I'm going to do one big post right now where I just put every chapter up! There is a stage before the ending where most of you will stop reading... And I can't wait to read your reviews ahaha! Enjoy guys! And don't forget to review.**

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The agent barged down the door and Shaw was first over the threshold.

"FEDERAL AGENTS!" they all screamed. They had their guns out in front of them and were clearing the house.

The words "Clear! Clear! Clear!" was sounding out around the house as the feds and the detectives cleared each room. They all holstered their guns and gathered in the kitchen.

"Search the house. Anything that could remotely link Hilton to the CIA bring it to me" Shaw yelled. She was getting extremely frustrated. They had finally got a name out of the people in the club that they had searched. Luke Hilton was major drug smuggler, notorious for kidnapping people who got in his way. They had found he was being watched by the CIA who was trying to pin him on international smuggling charges. The bar tender said that he remembered Rick from over a week ago and he saw him talking to Hilton. Shaw also had interrogated some of the regulars at the bar and they told her that Luke was rumoured to actually be helping the CIA smack down on some other 'big' dealers in New York. Of course for this he would be let off scot free, but that didn't surprise anyone. Corruption in the CIA was everywhere, even if it wasn't true corruption.

"Hey boss!" Espo yelled from the bedroom.

Shaw walked across and scanned the room she walked through.

The place was half nice. Coffee coloured walls, beige curtains and chocolate tinted carpet. The lounge room was filled with a 55 inch flat screen TV, a two piece leather couch and a book case filled with hundreds of books, she even found a few Richard Castle books shoved in between the others.

"What's up Espo?" she called as she entered the bedroom.

Javier pointed to a folder that he had in his hands. "We found this taped under his desk. It's stamped Boss."

"Yeah? Hand it here" she said a motioned open arms for him to throw it at her.

Espo walked over to Shaw and handed over the folder. She opened it up to two single sheets of paper. Her jaw dropped.

"Everyone in the kitchen now!" she yelled.

They all ran into the kitchen and huddled around in a circle surrounding Shaw.

"Okay guys. Hunt, Wade finish your sweep here. Everyone else back to the precinct. We need everyone on the phone calling in every favour that we have available to get access to someone with knowledge in the CIA" Jordan yelled in frustration. "We now have substantial information that" she paused and exhaled, "that Hilton is working for the CIA."

They all stood there in dismay, not believing what they had just heard.

"So you're telling me" Agent Young said, "that the CIA actually hired this scumbag to do some of their work?"

"Yes they did. It is more than possible that he is keeping Castle for them" she stated.

Standing there in awkward silence they all pondered on their own dismal thoughts.

"Let's go guys" Ryan said as he walked towards the door. "Let's go find Castle."


	10. Classified

"I'm sorry Shaw but that information is classified' said CIA Agent Andrew Keil.

"I don't care if it if classified Keil! That man that your men took is a friend of mine! His wife just had a baby!" she yelled. Shaw started to take deeper breaths to attempt to calm down. "I will make you a deal" she said and gave him a serious death stare. Honestly Keil wouldn't be surprised if Shaw lunged at him with a knife at this point. "If you tell me where Castle is, or send him back to us, I won't go to the press."

"And tell them what?" he exclaimed. There was a light chuckle behind his breath.

"Oh something like the CIA is holding a world renowned Mystery Writer who also works with NYPD and his wife just happens to be a Detective."

"And?" he asked.

"And that won't do well for you. The CIA doesn't need any more bad press and I bet I know a few guys that are your boss's boss who are fans of Mr Castle" she snapped back.

Andrew walked around the room with his hands tucked into each other behind his head. Could she seriously take this to the press? If his name was involved his career would be ruined. Could he try to make a few calls? Maybe try to get the guy that was meant to be looking after Hilton on the phone? Honestly he didn't even know if the CIA had taken Rick, but it wouldn't surprise him if they had.

"Tell you what Jordan. I'll make a few calls and see where that gets me. I'm not promising anything but I will try" he said painfully. He knew that these few calls could possibly lead to him being fired.

"That's all I'm asking" she replied and walked off to give him some privacy.

Shaw's phone buzzed in her pocket as she entered the break room to get coffee

"Shaw" she answered with her usual procedural tone.

"Hey Jordan it's Kate" the woman answered.

"Hey Kate, what's up?" Shaw replied with confusion. Kate shouldn't be calling at this hour, it was almost 2am.

"I actually need some parenting advice" she mumbled back clearly embarrassed.

"Anything" Shaw said while pouring her coffee into a take away cup.

"Well, Ophelia won't sleep. She's been awake for ten hours and refuses to close her eyes. She been fed, her diaper is changed and she doesn't have a fever."

Shaw paused for a second to think things through.

"Kate, she's a baby. They cry a lot and sometimes they do weird things for no apparent reason. Maybe just cradle her for a while, try to settle her down. Hopefully that will work."

"Oh okay thank you Jordan" she said with a yawn. It sounded as if Kate hadn't slept in days which was probably true.

"Go get some sleep Kate. Goodnight" she said before hanging up.

Sitting alone in the break room on the couch that she slept on the night before, Jordan was left to ponder in her own thoughts.

Suddenly Andrew comes busting through the door.

"Shaw I made some calls. They're agreeing to tell you the location of where they're holding him but they have some rules and regulations" he said.

"Sure, sure! Get me on the phone now!" she exclaimed and jumped up spilling a small amount of hot coffee on her pants. She didn't care though, she just ran towards her desk and pick up the phone.


	11. Awoken

Kate was woken from her deep slumber by the buzzing of her phone.

"Beckett" she answered sleepily.

"Hey sweetie" Rick answered with a small laugh.

After a few seconds of fully waking up, Kate suddenly shot up when she realised what she had just heard.

"Castle!" she exclaimed. "Honey are you okay? Where are you? I love you so much."

"I love you too" he laughed. "Well currently I'm in Agent Shaw's car driving towards our loft."

"What!'" she yelled into the speaker causing Rick's ear to hurt.

"Yeah I will see you soon Honey. I have to go. I will see you and Ophelia soon I promise Babe" he winced. He really didn't want to go.

"See you soon" she said and Rick could feel her smile through the speaker.

"I love you Katherine" he said.

"I love you too Richard" she replied.

Kate hung up and frantically started to get ready. She ran upstairs to Ophelia.

"Daddy's coming home!" she exclaimed and picked up her daughter.

Ophelia just started to fuss. Kate got her dressed in an outfit that Rick had chosen from before she was born.

"Ready Ophie?" she asked the baby. Kate just carried her baby downstairs and sat on the couch until Rick got there.

"Are you excited?" Shaw asked while momentarily taking her eyes from the traffic and looking at Rick.

"Honestly" he answered, "I've never been this excited in my life."

"I can tell" Jordan replied, putting her eyes back on the traffic that was stating to move.

They sat in silence for a while just living in their own thoughts, interpreting what they were feeling and what they were soon to feel.

"Thank you Jordan" Rick said while turning his head towards her.

"No problem" Shaw answered.

At that moment Rick focused on something that was outside Shaw's side window. His eyes zoomed in on something as they drove through the intersection. That something was a Taxi that was hurtling towards them.


	12. Be here soon

"Where is your old man?" Kate asked her baby while they sat on the couch.

As always, Ophelia just looked up at her completely unaware of what she was saying. Kate was rocking Ophelia while she was laying in her arms. They sat there in silence until Kate couldn't take it anymore. She needed to distract herself or she would be driven crazy waiting for him.

She reached over and picked up the remote and switched the TV on to the news.

A range of stories was headlining today including: the murder of a five year old child, the robbing of an apartment in Brooklyn, a black SUV was T-boned by a taxi leaving one person dead, another murder of a 72 year old guy and finally a shooting that left 3 people wounded.

The city was certainly crazy with bad news today. 'At least my day is great! It looks like I'm the only one to receive that though' she thought to herself.

She sat Rory down in her porta-crib that Kate had set up in the lounge room and walked into the kitchen. She got out a bottle and added formula then water. She heated it up in the microwave and waited. Meanwhile Ophelia started to cry, Kate should've really fed her a long time ago but she accidentally slept in.

"Shhh Ophelia" she called out, "Daddy will be here soon."


	13. Angels

Rick had never before believed in God or in angels. He believed in what he was physically able to feel and to touch. But right in front of his eyes now he saw and angel. Katherine Beckett appeared in front of his eyes, beautiful as always.

So it was true, your life did literally pass before your eyes right before you die, and Kate was his life.

(…)

"Flowers for Your Grave" Rick said with a smile while looking down at the photo that Detective Beckett had laid in front of him.

"And this is how we found Marvin Fisk, right out of 'Hell Hath No Fury'" she replied and placed a photo of the first victim in front of him.

"Looks like I have a fan" he answered after gazing over the picture of the murder scene.

"Yeah, a really deranged fan."

"Oh, you don't look deranged to me" he replied. He could have fun with this all day. Detective Beckett sure wasn't the usual woman that Rick would see in homicide and he certainly wanted to stick around and try to see what he could gain from this little experience.

"What?" she questioned. Her confused face was hot. There was no other way that he could describe it. Every time she let off her confused smile and furrowed her brow, small, tiny butterflies fluttered in his stomach.

"Hell Hath No Fury"? Angry Wiccans out for blood? Come on. Only hard core Castle groupies read that one."

(…)

"Sir, Sir!" someone yelled awaking him from his blurry flashback. "Are you okay? Sir can you hear me?"

Rick could hear the faint voice of Shaw in the background. His vision was blurred and a searing pain was burning into his side. He lifted his head slightly and looked down at his stomach. The air gushed out of his lungs as he saw the remnants of a window protruding out of his right side. He then realised that the gush of air that had streamed out of his lungs wasn't so big at all. Every breath felt like barbed wire was being ripped down his throat then through his stomach. His breaths soon became short and husky.

A woman appeared in front of him. Was it Jordan? He couldn't be sure. But whoever it was they pressed down on his stomach and suddenly Kate yet again appeared.

(…)

Flashes from the past seven years filled his eyes.

Them on their wedding day. The first day that Rick told Kate that he loved her. Their first kiss. The day they were trapped in the freezer. When Rick was her 'Bomb buddy'. The day Kate told him that she was pregnant. The countless times when Rick was going to confess his love to her. When they went undercover. Every time that they had ever said 'I love you' to each other.

The final picture that filled his mind was Alexis. His sweet little girl running around their house singing songs written by Miley Cyrus and laughing at Rick who was dancing along. He would never see her again and that was what Rick feared most.

(…)

"Sir! Sir! What is your name? Are you allergic to anything?" a man was screaming at him. Rick couldn't open his eyes, it was like they were glued shut with superglue.

The last thing he heard before the darkness took over was: "Holy crap dude! This is Richard Castle!"


	14. Falling

The feeling you have when you find out that you have lost a loved one it is unexplainable, but for Kate it was all too familiar and she could pinpoint the exact word. Falling.

As she lay on her lounge room fall she felt that exact feeling. The phone was hanging loosely out of her right hand that had fallen awkwardly towards her side. A nurse was yelling into the speaker on the other end wondering where she was, but she was answering anytime soon. She was falling. The floor was collapsing beneath her. Her husband was dead. He had been killed in a crazy unforseen car accident right before they were meant to be reunited with each other. She couldn't do this again. She wouldn't survive this again.

The hospital couldn't give her much information about what or who everything happened to, but she had been informed that Richard had passed. She would have to go down and ID the body. Could she do that? She could take Lanie? Should she take Ophelia with her so she got to see her father, even if he didn't have a pulse? She shouldn't be thinking about these things. She has just lost her husband, her soul mate, the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with.

But as Kate heard Ophelia crying in her porta-cot, she knew that losing him wasn't going to be the hardest part, Ophelia was. Because she was going to be a constant reminder of what she had and what she had lost. Her biggest fear now wasn't if she could survive her Husband's death, but if she could survive life with a living, breathing, constant reminder of what she had.


	15. Walk up

The walk up. It was the most important thing. The walk up is where you get your mind set right, it's where you organise all of the sh*t going on in your life and push it aside and move forward. The walk up is where you get prepaid for what you are about to see, for what is about to scar your eyes. For Kate the walk up was more than just her placing one foot in front of the other so that her body penetrates forward, but for her it was spiritual. For her it was time to become joined with the universe and hopefully in return it would help her get through what she was usually going to see next. She hoped that each murder got less gruesome every time and that they would eventually become easier to look at, but they never did. A human being that had lost its pulse, had lost its soul, the one thing that makes it alive, the object that makes you who you are is devastating and it never got easier nor will it ever.

This walk up was different. This walk up will forever be different and every small noise became so important. The small click of the car door as it shut. The dinging sound as she swung her handbag over her shoulder. The clicking of her heels as they collided with the asphalt one soft pace at a time.

Crows squawking in the trees and the soft sound of smaller birds singing their sweet song around them. Cars pulling out of their parking spaces which had been their home for the past couple of nights. The soft sound of rustling as the wind gently whispered through the trees. She was picking up every detail, every sent, and every movement that surrounded her. She would never forget this walk up. No, this was by far the one that she had never been prepared for.

She pushed through those two glass doors and suddenly she was confronted with a million other things to absorb.

The sickly stench of disinfectant. The harsh, soft smell of sickness that flowed throughout the halls. The reddish brown stains that appeared randomly along the floor. Saddened loved ones pleading to their doctors to help save their ill child. Nurses screaming for a crash cart as another life is taken too soon. The angry look on the surgeons faces when they had just lost a patient and the nurses crying by their sides because they got too attached to a woman that was dead a long time before she actually passed. And finally the men, woman and children that thought they were going to get out of here but little did they know that they would be struck down with death any day now. It seemed that death was a recurrence in this building.

She simply just sat in the waiting room, overanalysing everything.

Her walk up seemed to take longer than usual. Was it the six inch heels or was it that this time she wasn't walking up to some stranger in an alley, but to her dead husband in a hospital? Did she step forward with her right foot first or had she reverted back to when she was younger and stepped forward with her left? Her phone sat comfortably in her left pocket when it usually sat in her right, it was always Rick that had pointed out that she was pedantic about which pocket her phone was in, but today it didn't seem to matter.

She kicked her heels off and tucked her knees up into her chest and wrapped her hands around her legs. The chair in which she sat on was too small for this but somehow she made it work. She had to revert her mind form thinking of him and she couldn't handle another breakdown, especially if it was in a public place.

She didn't know why she came six hours early. Maybe she thought that she could prepare herself better here, get the taste of death before she had to truly face it. The thing was, here is a middle aged woman sitting like a child and crying in the middle of a hospital waiting room and no body looked at her twice. It took Kate a little while to figure out why but she finally got it. It's not that they didn't care; it was because they knew exactly how she felt. Each and every one of them was just like her. Each one of them had lost or is losing someone that they love. The lucky ones that got to take their person home didn't look twice either because they remembered how it felt to grieve, how it felt when everything that you loved was slipping away. She was one of many grieving families there today, but the saddest thing for Kate was, Rick's whole family didn't even know that he was dead.


	16. Identify

Three seconds that's how long it takes. One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand. Three simple, short seconds. It takes three seconds to recognise another person's face. To remember the structure of their jaw, the shape of their nose or the colour of their eyes that will send messages to the brain that fires up a memory for who they are.

As she was ushered through the hospital wing she kept her head down. It was closely like the walk of shame, but instead of walking home from last night's one night stand, it was her walking down the hall in the same clothes as she wore yesterday to go identify her husband.

She had been in plenty of morgues before and every time she didn't think twice about it, but now, now she needed Rick to help her step over this threshold.

They had made it to the morgue doors. Kate reached out and gently brushed her fingertips over the metal handle. It was overly cool to the touch and as Kate stood there at the door, not wanting to enter, just wanting to stand and embrace this last moment where she hadn't seen her dead husbands corpse she thought about why the morgue was so cold. Was it just a little cold but the presence of death made its harsh connection with your skin ten times worse? Was it because they need the room to be frigid so that the bodies wouldn't rot, so that families could come and see their loved ones without the ugly stench of decomposing corpses drifting around them? Or was it purely for sanitary purposes? Did the coldness affect the amount of bacteria that would live there? Honestly she didn't really care, and she wasn't going to ask anytime soon.

The doors suddenly swung open in front of her. It was all too much. It was honestly just like the movies. A big, cold, sterile room that was empty except for a long, flat metal table that lay in its centre with body shaped object lying on it, covered with a plain, white sheet.

She walked over to stand beside it.

"Are you ready Mrs Castle?" the ME asked.

She ignored her because her question had brought on so many more questions for Kate.

Was she Mrs Castle anymore? Would she have to change her name back to Beckett? Would she ever remarry? She didn't want to ever remarry but could she live the rest of her life without love, without someone keeping her warm on the other side of the bed? Would she have to move out of Rick's apartment? Would Alexis and Martha kick them out and disown them? It was questions that she didn't need to think about. Right now she was standing in front of her husband's body. Soon they would lift the sheets and she would see his pale face and his neck that no longer contained a pulse.

"Yeah" she finally answered softly.

The young man lifted the sheet and folded it softly at the corpse's chest.

Three seconds right? That's all it would take, but Kate didn't recognise the body that lay in front of her. He was a stranger. He had no life, only his shell remained and your shell isn't what makes you recognisable by others.

"Ma`am is this your husband?" he asked softly.

"Yes" she mumbled back. "This is Richard Castle."


	17. Telling the family

Looking at yourself that one last time in the mirror before you take that final plunge. Staring at the unrecognisable face that is staring back at you and wondering if you should just end it all.

Tears fell down her cheeks in a stream that left dry, sticky patterns on her skin. Her mascara was long gone and her foundation had rubbed off on Rick's jumper.

She looked up at herself one last time before finally picking up her phone.

There were three rings before a young girl answered.

"Hey Kate" Alexis said, "Have they found out anything on Dad?" She sounded so happy and Kate could hear Pi in the background.

"Yes honey I have some bad news.." she whimpered trying to force back the tears. "Your father was found Alexis but he was killed in an accident on the way home sweetie. I'm so sorry Alexis."

There was no answer from the other end. It sounded like Alexis had put the phone down and Kate could hear mumbling coming from Alexis and Pi. She waited on the line for five minutes until Pi finally answered the phone.

"Hey Kate" he said. Kate could hear that he was crying. "We will be over soon." He hung up. Kate placed the phone on the bathroom sink and looked at herself again.


	18. Chained down

Ophelia was crying and Kate couldn't get up to help her. It was like she was chained to the floor and medicine balls were strapped to her ankles. She finally found the strength to get up. She dragged her feet slowly along the floor focusing on getting one foot past the other. She picked up her baby and cradled Ophelia in her arms and held her close.

Kate hadn't expected this. Ophelia was the only thing that could make her feel remotely better. Her twinkling blue eyes that were identical to Rick's warmed her heart. Looking into Ophelia's eyes made Kate feel like he hadn't truly left; and she realised that he wasn't completely gone, he would never fully be gone. She remembered that he would always be in her heart and that her beautiful daughter was there to help her remember. She just hoped that Ophelia could help her get through the next 48 hours. Soon Martha and Alexis would arrive.


	19. Final goodbye

Emptiness. As she stood at the end of the line of officers they started to get his casket out of the car.

Ryan, Espo, Pi and the major slowly stared to bring the hard, wooden box down the long row of police men and woman. They had all insisted on coming, and Gate's agreed that Castle deserved just as a great goodbye as any other officer. Her argument was 'He has saved this city more times than some of my best men.' Kate was arguing. She was too in her uniform, soon she would have to get up in front of this crowd of over one thousand people and present her speech. A tear fell down her cheek as she remembered that Rick wouldn't be here to save her if she was shot again. The thought actually made her laugh, oh how stupid she had been not telling him how she felt, that she had heard the whole confession.

As the men got closer and closer Kate's body began to tense up. She was nowhere near prepared for this. The emptiness that filled her heart was never ending, she had never felt this much pain before even when her mother was murdered. Every day she wondered what she would do. Rick wasn't murdered, his accident was in fact the fault of a taxi driver who was behind bars for negligent driving and manslaughter. Once he had found out what he had actually done, and what his inattentive driving had caused he apologised immensely to Kate and Ophelia which Kate did allow him to see. She wanted him to see the damage that he had fully caused, that because of him this little girl wouldn't grow up with a father. Kate couldn't feel anything but guilt when she got a call this morning that he had committed suicide. There was no doubt that it was her fault, but a small part of her was glad that he would never be the cause of heartbreak again. Except when the family is at his funeral and all they can feel is hopelessness. Wanting their hearts to be ripped out because it would've been easier then living through this ache. Needing someone to blame but the only person you can find is that who is dead and there's no complaining to them now.

"Halt" Espo yelled out in a deep voice.

They had stopped right in front of her. They stood there waiting for Kate to do something but she didn't move a muscle. She embraced the sight that was in front of her. This was the last time she was going to see her husband. He would soon be put into the ground, lowered six feet down, and covered with dirt to be forever encased within the earth to fade away.

Kate stepped forward. She quickly lifted her hand up to her forehead in a salute to her husband. She heard Alexis in the background letting out a gasp. Kate held the pose and straightened her back even when the tears started to fall and threaten her strength.

"Today I'm blessed enough to get to say goodbye for a thousand different people. Today I am here to say goodbye to a husband, a father" she wiped away a tear and pushed back sobs that were threatening to surface, "a son, a co-worker, a friend, an ex-husband, a teller of great tales and a bloody great cop. Richard Edgar Alexander Rodgers Castle was a great man and a great father. Although Ophelia will never get to meet her father, she will be reminded every day of how courage's and kind he truly was and she will have a lot of people to help her remember." She paused for a moment to wipe away more tears. "He saved this city more than once. Between de activating bombs, yes I mean more than one, at the very last second either to save my life alone or the entire city's life, being instrumental to solving a numerous amount of murders some I will have to admit that would've never been closed if it wasn't for him and finally I owe my life to him." She laughed and thought back to all of the trouble they had gotten into in the past. "If we weren't at the precinct actually doing our jobs we were caught in a problem waiting to be saved. The time we were stuck in a freezer, were exposed to radioactive material, the time we had a witness and were running away from hit men and didn't have a car nor a phone. The time we were almost eaten by a tiger only to be saved by Kevin and Javier just in time before Rick was going to sacrifice himself" she let off a laugh and looked over to the two men who were smiling back at her. "The time I saved him from the Russian mob, and the day I was shot." She then turned her head towards were Martha, Alexis and Pi who were sitting and smiled towards them. "Richard was an amazing man who was capable of so much love. Everyone standing here today had a certain place in Rick's heart. We are all going to miss him in different ways, as a husband, a son, a father, a friend, or as an author, he will be missed in every way possible. He lived an amazing life. He fulfilled more in half a life then most do in a full one and tragically his life was taken too soon and we will be unable to see what would've become of him. Would he have written more books? Would he of turned to another art form? Would we have stayed in the city? Would we have more children? Would he have saved the city again? The questions are endless. The thing is, we will never find the answer to these questions. All we can deal with is the facts and try not to focus on the unanswered questions. We all loved him. Maybe you loved him through his books or as a friend but the feeling is mutual. He was a child at heart but was serious when need be. He lit up the darkest of rooms with his smile and pulled jokes like no other. He was a great guy and that's all that we need to remember." She took deep breaths as more tears streamed down her face and her eyes were turning red and puffy. "He told me on our wedding day what he wanted on his tombstone. Of course he was hoping it wasn't going to be this soon to that date but I still followed through with his wish." She smiled out to the crowd. "Richard Castle. Husband, Son, Father. A teller of many tales and fell in love with his muse."

She stepped down off the podium and dove into Javier's arms and released the tears that she had been holding on for that entire time.

She was forced to turn around. She held her baby in her arms as she watched as they lowered her husband into the ground. She walked over to the gravesite and picked up a red rose. She placed a kiss on its petal and chucked it into the hole. "I love you" she murmured softly. She picked up another rose and handed it to Ophelia. It's like she knew. Ophelia brought it up to her mouth then extended her arm and let the rose fall down towards her father, the man that she would never get to meet.

Everyone had already left and had headed towards the wake but Kate decided to stay. She watched as every scrape of dirt was placed on top of her husband, as they slowly buried him deeper and deeper below the earth until only a large mound of soil showed where the hole once was.


	20. Self harm

Blades that cut so deep that you bleed. Wasn't that the point though? Wasn't the blood flowing out of her torn skin meant to symbolise the pain leaving her body. Wasn't every cut meant to make her feel better? Every time she strategically missed main veins because she genuinely didn't want to die, she just wanted to feel the pain exit her grieving body. She had to admit though, sometimes she was overly tempted to move that blade one inch further down her wrist and press that little but harder. That would be the easiest thing to do; it would be easy just to leave. She would be dead. Hopefully she would be with Rick but no one would ever know.

As she brought the blade down to her wrist again and swiped it across she felt the soft trickle of blood touch her hand and her heart somehow became lighter. It was magical how it worked. She needed to feel the pain to release it. She had tried boxing, art, music and kick boxing to try and get rid of the hurt that she was feeling but nothing worked. Staring down at her wrists she stared at the marks that she had left from the days before. There were three new cuts from that day. They were all still bleeding, each of them making their own small trail of red liquid down her arm which finally led to her hand. She wondered what she would tell Ophelia. One day she would ask about the scars and want to know what happened to her mother that was bad enough that she would self-harm and think about suicide. She would tell her the complete truth; she deserved that. She wondered if Rick would be disappointed in her. Would he be angry that she wasn't strong enough to hold herself up and get through this? Would he be angry because she would have to tell Ophelia about the scars; would he think that his daughter shouldn't be tainted with those words? She pushed down again, this time a little harder, as she realised that she could never find out those questions.


	21. Finding help

Housework. This time old tradition is bad enough as it is, but add the cleaning up of your dead husbands belongings makes it ten times worse.

Earphones blasting out his playlist, broom in hand and she was sweeping the kitchen/dining area. None of this had been done since Rick had been killed and was in urgent need of a clean.

Ryan and Jenny had offered to take Ophelia today. It was the first time that Ophelia and Katie got to hang out. Is that what babies do? Do they hang out? Or do they just kinda lie down together and scream adorable meaningless noises into the air? Jenny and Kate had already organised how their daughters were going to become best friends. They were starting to organise a scrapbook for the two of them so that they could look back on their lives as babies together. Jenny had promised to take plenty of photos today and bring them back to Kate.

They had become very close since Rick's death. In the short time afterwards they had already hung out three times. Alexis and she also had become closer; maybe it was because Ophelia and Kate were the only link to her Dad other than her grams. Let's just say she was always occupied with a range of different visitors that had come knocking on her door. Kate was running out of long sleeve t-shirts to wear around people; Lanie was starting to notice that she was wearing the same top twice in one week which was something that she had never done before.

Kate knew she was never one to walk away from something that scared her. She couldn't help but wonder though if people would treat her differently if they knew that she had been cutting herself, even worse if people found out that she had attempted suicide. She was forever thankful that Jenny had found her. It was only by chance that Jenny had dropped in to see Ophie. Luckily Ophie was with Uncle Javier when she broke down. Sorting through his clothes was too much and something just ticked inside of her. Suddenly she had no control over her body and she kinda just found her way to the bathroom. Jenny had found her only seconds after she fell unconscious and rushed her to the hospital. Kate could trust that Jenny would keep her secret from her husband and Jenny also now made regular visits to check up on how she was doing.

This was a lot harder for Kate then her mother's murder. It was a hurt that she couldn't describe. She couldn't feel the hurt that was building up inside of her and eventually it just built up enough that the 'incident' occurred. But she was now here for Ophelia, and she was not giving up now. There was no way she was going to leave her little girl; at least not until disease struck her down.


	22. Acceptance

They say that it's better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all. But is that all completely true? Wouldn't it be easier if you just avoided the signs that you loved each other and went you opposite ways? In some ways that's true. If you dig deeper into it, it would mean that other people that you love wouldn't be here if it never happened. Basically then you have to decide whether the loss if worth the gain.

But can a fourteen year old really decipher that? Can she honestly make the decision if she would rather to have never been born and her father live, then to her being born and her father being killed? She knew that her father's death was not her fault; she was only a week old at the time. But seeing her mother in pain still after fourteen years was hard. Sometimes she did consider it. Sometimes she did wish that she wasn't born so that her mother could be happy with her father. Ophelia was told stories every week by her uncles and Aunties about how her mother had changed after her dad's death. Even if he was still killed but Ophelia wasn't alive, she knew that her mum wouldn't be here today. They had discussed the scars and the attempts on her life and she was told how she was the only thing that pulled her mother through. Her mother had always called her a blessing, the only angel that could pull her through. Ophelia couldn't help feeling like a burden. It was hard to say but was her mother better off dead? She wasn't happy, she tried to show it on her face, you could see her struggle to keep that smile up when Pi and Alexis came over with their kids and Ophelia was there and were all playing together. It reminded her too much of a family life that she never got to experience. It was a horrible thing to say but Ophelia wish Jenny didn't find her all of those times when the pain got too much, Ophie was willing to sacrifice her normal childhood for her mother. It killed her to see the woman she admired constantly in pain.

"Hey dad" she said and reached out to the cold stone slab that lay where her father was buried. "Today is my birthday. I'm fourteen this year." She started crying. She did this every year but it never got easier. Every year she walked the long distance to the cemetery and told her father everything that he had missed. Most years she repeated the same things, but some years she forgot about her first words, or her first day at school and told him about school and boys. "Well you probably already know all of this but I still need to tell you" she said and looked up towards the sky. Whenever she was here the sun came out, she had always hoped that they bright flame shining down was her father showing her that he was watching. She started to talk about her years as a toddler and as a young child. She told him about their holidays to Europe and Paris, Australia and Africa, and Kate had even taken her to Verona. She talked about how her mother had attempted her own life a various amount of times. She had never talked to him about it before as the news was still quite fresh to Ophelia. "I don't want you to be disappointed in her dad. She tried her hardest but it was hard for her. She gave me the best childhood a girl could ever ask for even if my dad wasn't there to experience it with me. It did get better though. I was one when she quit the force, she started looking after me full time and she always tells me that I am the reason why she is here. Katie and I are going to take her out next week; the anniversary is always a hard day for her." She was quiet for a while and just stared at his headstone. It was never awkward talking to her father like this. He was like her priest and she confessed every sin to him. She didn't mind though because from the stories she was told from Alexis and Uncle Javier and Kevin he would've listened anyway if he was actually here. "I don't know if Alexis had come to see you lately to tell you the new news? I may as well tell you while I'm here. She's pregnant again with baby number four. She tells us every day that it will be her last but we all never believe her" she laughed, Alexis literally was a baby making machine these days. "So she has three kids at the moment" she explained, "Alexander, the eldest boy, Blake, the middle girl and James, the youngest boy. You would've loved them dad, they're all amazing." She wiped a tear away from her cheek. "I got invited to the junior prom" she laughed. "I really like him, I think you would too. He's really nice dad. I found a dress to wear. Uncle Javier went shopping with me; he told me that I looked stunning. I so could tell that he couldn't wait to go shopping with Cassie when she is older, he's still got a fair way to go though, she's only seven." She smiled, she loved Cassie. Ophelia was the flower girl at Lanie and Javier's wedding and they were now 'best friends' as Javier described it.

She leant forward and kissed the stone then got up and walked two metres back to the tree that stood there. She sat down and leant against the tree and just stared at her father's grave. She would spend all day like this. She had always refused a birthday party that her mother had always offered. She would spend all day down here just talking to her dad until it got too dark for her to see. Her friends always wondered why she never truly celebrated her birthday, only Katie understood. Ophelia even brought her down one year to talk to him.

She sat there for eight hours straight until the sun started going down and a cold mist started to fall onto the cemetery. She heard footsteps from behind her, she knew exactly who it was.

"Ophie sweetie you need to go" Alexis said.

Ophelia got up and walked over to her father and kissed his stone one last time before turning around and walking towards her sister. Her baby bump was growing and there was nothing cuter then seeing your sister pregnant. Ophelia walked up beside her and Alexis wrapped her arm around her shoulders.

"How's dad today" she asked with a smile.

"Alright" she answered. "I've figured at this much though, he's not much of a talker."

* * *

**Thank you for reading:)**


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